All parents want to give the best for their kids. Even WANTS just to make them happy. Some parents giving their wants to avoid their tantrums or irritability. They offer the gadgets to do not let them cry. Or giving the toys they want in a department store even if it’s too expensive. So, how is your child she/he grows up? Do you ever think that your little one can handle a thing easily? How about His/hers behaviour? Do you think your child can be impatient and irrational when she/he grows up?
We have different techniques of parental guidance. But some of millennial toddlers, teenagers or even adults were intolerant. (It is based on my observation, survey and videos) They eager to get their want effortlessly. They are easy to mad. So how can we educate our kids to be honourable and rational person? How not to spoiled them around?
I brought a book from LAZADA online store that I was thinking it could might be help to discipline my LO. DISCIPLINE WITHOUT SHOUTING OR SPANKING. It was written and authored by Jerry Wyckoff, Ph.D and Barbara Unell. Based on the book, Dr. Wyckoff, a former college professor and lecturer, is a licensed psychologist who has worked with children and families for over forty years. Ms. Unell is a parent educator, journalist, and former columnist for the Kansas City Star. This book is about practical solutions to the most common toddler/preschool behaviour problems. My reason to buy this book is because I believe instead to spank or shout your child for their wrongdoing, provide a meaningful guidance and ingenuous love. Even my daughter is only four months old; I decided to buy and read the book and to study the different techniques to discipline my daughter. And now she is 1 year and 9 months old. She is very charming and good girl. And can’t say she is very behave but most of the time, she follow our instructions and directions on DO’s and Don’ts. But of course as she is exploring and having a big curiosity, we let her explore with strong parental guidance. And we pray that God take good care of her enough for any circumstances.
Most of baby wants to eat anything they see. It’s terrified to think that your lo going to swallow anything like coins. That’s why I bought a piggy bank toy. if I have a coin in my wallet, I teach her instead to eat it, she put every single coin on piggy bank. As long as she grew, she will be aware of being economical and practical in life.
I will share 5 things that I have learned about nurturing a child how to be rational and mature when she grows up.
1. Ignore or Walk away on their tantrums.
As a first time mother, it is hard for me to see my child’s crying. If she wants something, she does crying a lot more. Since I read the book, it said that instead to give what her want, you should make her happy or just walk away. Then I tried it. Once I walk away, she follows and wants to carry her by me. Then she stops to cry. Don’t let your child know your weaknesses. Don’t involve your emotion on her situation. But once she is stop to cry, give sympathy and ask her what’s bothering on her. If your child misbehaves on the public place, look for private place to calm her and don’t ever shout her in public because it can lower their self esteem and she might be timid.
2. Don’t clean their mess, let them do it.
Every toddler wants to mess around. They want to play and play around whatever they want. Pero talagang nakakapang init ng ulo kapag linis dito, linis doon. Yung kakalinis mo lang pero maya maya ay siguradong marami nanamang lilinisin. But how you can control their mess?
You must think first that every child is normal to mess up. Yes! Besides they want to explore. Their curiosity is going up until they reach of 7 years old. So, you need much more patience about their journey. There is the thing that you can do; Give them a TASK. A task that if they want something, you should say “Can you clean first your mess, please? And after that I will give your biscuits”. But don’t forget, they always remember your promise after they did what you want. So, always give rewards by their request or appreciate their little things. Don’t reward a material thing. Just give food, hugs and kisses, bonding moments or something they can learn about. Para hindi sila maging materialistic.
3.Don’t be afraid! Let them explore.
Maraming bagay na kinatatakutan ang isang nanay sa kanilang mga anak. Tulad na lang ng masaktan, magkasakit, loss their behaviour, maraming Do’s and Don’ts but for me what is the best nurturing to your child? All parents have different parenting. (I don’t ever judge every parents) But if you think your child has a potential in sports? Support them. I saw a video in Facebook page, a little girl was about in 2 years old and trained by her father how to fall over. It was big shock for us! After that, I saw also a video of 3 to 4 years old that climbing their walls without rocks! Just holding in between of walls and having a ball on the top to get it. I also watched a girl about 4 to 5 years old training by her father in any kind of physical activities and join in football game. (Support them if you have any knowledge about physical workouts or if not, look for mentors or coaches) I know it is very dangerous but their self esteem and courage will comes from you as a parent. Don’t let your fears and doubts to block their confidence. It is also a self defense to secure them from any harm.
4. Be honourable and God fearing person.
By the age of 2 years old and above, a child start copying what they see. If you want your child to grow as a good person, show some good manners and activities and nurture them with word of God.
If you want them to be approachable, teach them how to act nicely with other people. Start with saying “HI! Or Hello!” even if they don’t know the other people.
You want them to be generous? Show some kindness and helping with poor people and they will treasure it in a long time. Not all children listen to their parents. So for me, you should attend some advocation together with your children like in church that has advocacy for the youth. Don’t ever give up if they don’t listen at first. Just continue what you do and have faith in God.
And last, don’t ever argue with your partner in front of your children. Because of many difficulties in our lives, we can’t control our emotions. If you have a problem with your partner, talk to him/her if your child is not in front of you. Or talk to him/her in chance of being alone in a room or somewhere that your child can’t hear you. Just remember, it can affect on their behavior and disrespect you as a parent.
If you don’t want to get angry, meditate yourself by yoga, music and read a bible to clear up your mind and face your partner in a right mood.
Most parents do not aware about their actions and moods to their children. If your child show you something with their excitement, APPRECIATE IT. Even it is a LITTLE THING. A little thing can be a big deal to them. DON’T EVER EVER EVER EVER DISCOURAGE THEM ON THEIR DOING. Instead, give them a nice approach and teach the better way of thinking. Like, if your child gives you a paper boat na ginawa niya, iappreciate mo iyon at ipakita mo na natuwa ka sa ginawa niya ngunit kung sa tingin mo may dapat pang iimprove sa ginawa niya, iapprecaite mo padin pero pede mong sabihin “anak maganda yang ginawa mo, pero siguro mas maganda kung magdadagdag ka ng…” add some details in positive way. If your child get failed, huwag mo siyang pagalitan or masamain iyon. Bagkus, bigyan mo siya ng tapang at lakas ng loob para harapin niya ang bawat struggles sa buhay niya. Huwag kang mapagod sa pag aadvice at pagsusuporta hanggat hindi niya nakakamit ang kanyang mga pangarap. DON’T BE PERFECTIONIST! Let them strive hard and live full of love. Always think positive and nurture them with praise of God.
Thank you and Godbless!
Feel free to share your life experienced with your toddler by commenting on the box. I hope you find some informative and might helpful to discipline your kids. Have a great day!